


I Think I Love You

by TaterBear



Series: Gallavich OST [4]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Ian Gallagher/Mickey Milkovich Get Caught, M/M, POV Ian Gallagher, POV Mickey Milkovich, What did Ian ever see in Kash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-02
Updated: 2020-06-02
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:42:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24501802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TaterBear/pseuds/TaterBear
Summary: Natural disasters can bring people closer, and they can tear people apartWhat will Hurricane Monica do?Our boys explore the edges of their feelings for each other after Ian's mom shows up, and they end up getting caught by Kash.S1:E9 "But at Last Came a Knock"Part of my Gallavich OST series. This one won't have any problem being stand alone, as long as you've seen the episode. This story is episode dialogue heavy, but I don't know how it couldn't be.
Relationships: Ian Gallagher/Mickey Milkovich
Series: Gallavich OST [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1765924
Comments: 2
Kudos: 33





	I Think I Love You

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the song I Think I Love You by David Cassidy/The Partridge Family
> 
> I have pretty eclectic taste in music...[shrug]
> 
> Thanks to everyone who has been reading, commenting, and leaving kudos. I've been writing fanfic a while but I never did anything with it because I didn't think I was a very good writer. Each message I get that someone liked my work gives me a boost to write more. And you know what, even if I write something bad, I'm sure someone will read it.
> 
> You can find me in tumblr @deathdoesntdancealone. I’m not that interesting though, so you might not be too impressed.

_I was sleeping_  
_And right in the middle of a good dream_  
_Like all at once I wake up_  
_From something that keeps knocking at my brain_  
_Before I go insane_  
_I hold my pillow to my head_  
_And spring up in my bed_  
_Screaming out the words I dread_  
_I think I love you _ _  
___

* * *

Ian:

Monica. I don't know what to do. So I run. I just run. I run to the only person I want right now. Mickey. I know it's not a good idea to just show up at the Milkovich house. Especially since I don't know if Terry will be there. But I'm crying. And I'm scared. And I need Mickey. I need Mickey to take my mind off of my life the best way he knows how.

It feels like I'm watching someone else's hand reach up and knock on that door. What if Terry answers? Or Colin, or Jamie, Or Iggy? Are they in jail? I don't know, I can't think right now. What if Mandy answers the door. She'll want to comfort me. I can't tell her I'm here for her brother and not her.

“What the fuck.” Mickey. I let out the breath I didn't know I was holding as relief washes over me.

“I need to see you.” Don't cry in front of Mickey. As much as I want to break down, I can't. Mickey is afraid of emotions and if he freaks out, I won't get what I need from him.

“Not a good time.” He looks back into the house as someone inside yells. I'm not able to concentrate enough to even register what they said or who said. it.

“I don't know where else to go.” I'm so close to breaking. I see Mickey register how raw I am. Emotions play over his face. He's trying to hide them because Mickey Milkovich doesn't have feelings. But I see it. I know his face so well. Fear of my emotions. Concern for my feeling. Fear of his feelings for me. Determination to help me. Fear of his family. All within in seconds.

He rubs at his mouth. A nervous habit that I love. “I thought you were working today.”

“Linda's gonna have my ass. I'm supposed to be there now.” And she will. Linda is hard as nails. I'm already on her shit list for fucking her husband. The only reason I still have my job is because she can rely on me. If I fuck that up, I'll be fired for sure.

“Meet you there in 20.” He shuts the door and I run to work. He's going to come. He's going to be there for me when I need him. That's not really something people would expect from Mickey. But I asked for it and I got it.

Mickey really is a great guy. Once you get passed all the Milkovich hard exterior, Mickey is unbelievable. Mickey is everything. Mickey is my everything. I'm falling for Mickey Milkovich. And I'm terrified.

Linda starts to say something to me about being late as I walk in, but stops when she sees my face. “What's wrong Ian?” She's a mother. She uses that tone and I realize she's conserned about me.

“Monica showed... My mom showed up.” I realized she didn't know who Monica was. “She's a piece of shit. She's really messed us up. Worse that Frank.”

“I really need to go do something, but I guess I can put it off if you need me to stay.” She comes to me to comfort me.

Mickey is coming. “No,” I say too quickly. Deep breath. “No,” I say again calmer, “I need to be alone. To calm down. But thanks Linda. You're not as bad as I used to think you were.” That was awkward. “I mean...”

“I know what you mean, Ian.” She rolls her eyes. “I didn't know why Kash was acting the way he was, so I didn't exactly treat him right.” She looks like she is debating on saying more. “I wish you weren't fucking my husband, but I'm glad to have you around. I do like you.” She cupped her hand against my cheek briefly before leaving.

Now all I have to do is wait for Mickey. I need Mickey. I love Mickey. Wait, what? I love Mickey? I start to panic. I can't love Mickey. We've only had sex a handful of times. We haven't been out on a date. We haven't even kissed. But I think I love him. So what am I so afraid of?

* * *

_This morning_  
_I woke up with this feeling_  
_I didn't know how to deal with_  
_And so I just decided to myself_  
_I'd hide it to myself_  
_And never talk about it_  
_And did not go and shout it_  
_When you walked into the room_  
_I think I love you _ _ _  
____

* * *

Mickey:

I need an excuse to leave without anyone asking questions. I told Ian I would meet him and I will. I just gotta make sure no one I my family thinks it would be a good idea to follow me. Or ask me to pick up money or anything.

I look around my room. I grab a gun and stuff it in my waistband. What else? An empty whiskey bottle. I can stick it in my pocket and make it seem like I'm gonna go get drunk and shoot shit. No one will know the bottle is empty. What else?

“Hey, girly boy,” I'm gonna kill him someday. “Who was at the door.” He's wasted. On alcohol and who knew what drugs. He's half naked and stinks like he shit his pants.

“Nobody dad. Some friend of Mandy's. Don't know the name. Total nobody. I said Mandy wasn't here. Wanted to know if I wanted to fuck. Figured I'd go get laid and shoot out some windows.” I pointed at my gun. If I tell Terry I'm gonna go stick my dick in some chick, he'll leave me alone. And he'll make sure I'm not followed, since I didn't say I wanted to share. Why my brothers share chicks is beyond me. It's gross.

“Good. Go get your dick wet. Show that bitch you're a man. Give here a good old Milkovich fuck.” Terry pats my shoulder. I feel nasty where he touched me. I'd love scrub the feeling off before I go meet Ian, but I don't have time. I've got to get to Ian.

Ian looked so tore up standing on the porch. I wonder what's wrong. Whatever it is, it's bad. If Ian came to my house for me, it's _really_ bad. I worry the whole walk to the Kash & Grab. I smoke most of my cigarettes. I'm scared. I'm worried about somebody besides Mandy. And that scares the shit out of me. I don't have feelings for Ian. I don't. I don't love him. I. Don't. Love. Him. The fact I had to tell myself that stops me in my tracks. That should've been obvious. It shouldn't have need said. But I think I love him. So what am I so afraid of?

* * *

_Believe me_  
_You really don't have to worry_  
_I only wanna make you happy_  
_And if you say "hey go away" I will_

* * *

“So what is so goddamn important you gotta come storming up to my door and waking up Terry?” Mickey's eyebrows have their own language, and right now they are saying 'don't ever do that again' but he smooths out his face before speaking again. “Look, I'm sorry man, I can tell something's wrong, so why not tell me about it?”

“It's Monica. She's back. She's back to ruin our lives. Again.” Ian dropped his head.

“Monica? Your mom that took of on you and left Fiona with the burden of raising you?” Mickey's voice rose and octave. Shit. He doesn't need Ian know this news upset him.

“You remember that?” Ian had only mentioned her to Mickey once. Mickey had asked Ian why he knew about Frank, but not his mom.

“Yeah, well...” Mickey trailed off, embarrassed.

Ian got up from behind the counter and locked the door. He grabbed Mickey by the front of his shirt and backed him into the cooler. They didn't talk. They just looked into each other's eyes, having an unspoken conversation about their feelings. Neither would ever admit the silent words spoken between them. They knew then they loved each other. But those words would never be spoken. Those feelings would never even be admitted outside the confines of their own thoughts late at night, when they dreamed of each other's bodies.

Ian ran his hands over Mickey's face as they got to the corner of the cooler. He knew it was risky. Mickey could push him away. But he didn't. His breath caught as he looked at Mickey. He wanted to kiss him so bad, but knew better. Even with whatever this was that was going on between them, Ian knew it would be too much.

Mickey closed his eyes and nuzzled into Ian's hand. The warmth of it radiating though Mickey's entire body. He never showed affection, but for a fraction of a second, he accepted Ian's. Ian needed this right now. Mickey knew that. And he would push himself as far as he could to give Ian what he needed in this moment. When it was over, Mickey knew he wouldn't be able to get this far again. But that was later. This was now. This was different.

Ian didn't manhandle him like usual. And Mickey let him.  
Ian took off his shirt pulled him close. And Mickey let him.  
Ian nuzzled into his neck. And Mickey let him.  
Ian turned him around to the shelves gently. And Mickey let him.  
Ian undid his fly. And Mickey let him.  
Ian touched his back under his sweater. And Mickey let him.  
Ian prepped him slowly. And Mickey let him.  
Ian started to make love to him. And Mickey let him.  
Ian put his hand over his on the shelf. And Mickey let him.

The cooler door swung open. Ian turned to look to saw Kash looking at him. The look on his face was one of disappointment. Not jealous, or sad, or mad, disappointed. Like a teacher that caught you cheating on a test. Not like a lover that caught you cheating on them.

Mickey turns and sees Kash. “What the fuck!” He grabs his pants and runs, giving Kash a good shove as he runs by. Ian doesn't blame Mickey. They just got caught. His biggest fear. Mickey runs out into the store. Panicked. Ian can hear him struggle to unlock the door. After everything that happened that day. After the unspoken words between them. After their actions had spoken for them. Mickey was gone. Probably forever. Ian had lost him. All because of Kash. In that moment, Ian hated the man.

* * *

Working with Kash that night was awkward. What right did Kash have to be upset Ian was cheating on him, when he was married. And had just impregnated his wife with their third child. Ian was mad. Kash was pouting. Ian just wanted to go home.

The door chimed. Mickey. Mickey came back. He seemed a little drunk, but he came back. Ian thought his insides would burst. Mickey. Mickey came back. Kash doesn't seem to realize it's Mickey behind him until he speaks.

“Fucking right you keep your mouth shut.” He grabs a Snickers off the counter. “You better keep it shut. You hear me?” Yeah, Ian is pretty sure Mickey is drunk. But he still came back.

“Put the candy back Mickey.” Kash sounds tired. Like catching his extra marital jail bait fucking someone his own age was annoying. He said it in the same voice Fiona used on them when she was tired of answering the same questions they'd asked a million times.

Mickey smirked at him and took a bite. “I like 'em sweet.” He says around a mouth full of chocolate and nougat. “But then, so do you, huh.?” Mickey laughed.

“Put it back.” Kash reached for the gun. The same gun that started everything. “Now.” He pointed the gun at Mickey. When Mickey didn't respond, Kash shot a jar of spaghetti sauce over Mickey's shoulder. Then a bag of chips over his other shoulder.

“Kash! What are you doing?” Ian decided to get in the middle of it then. He couldn't believe Kash had actually shot the gun, let alone shot it a Mickey Milkovich. Twice.

“It's a fucking Snickers bar!” Mickey's tone sounded only slightly scared. It sounded more like Mickey couldn't believe anyone would dare shoot at a Milkovich and not have a death wish.

Kash shot again. This time hitting Mickey.

“Holy shit!” Ian ran to Mickey's side. Kash seemed shocked that Ian ran to Mickey and not him.

“You fucking suck!” That's all Mickey could say? If the circumstances had been different, Ian was certain he would've laughed at him.

Ian could hear Kash on the phone with the cops. He did NOT want to be there when it came time to explain why Kash had shot Mickey over a candy bar. This was going to be awkward enough without him being there too. He looked at Mickey. Mickey raised his eyebrows and darted his eyes away from Ian, toward the door, and back again silently telling Ian to leave.

Ian placed his hand on Mickey's cheek like he had done earlier in the cooler. Mickey closed his eyes at the touch, but then shook his head telling Ian no. Ian threw off his apron and grabbed his coat. He headed for the door and looked at Mickey. Mickey looked at Kash, then Ian, then at the door, then back at Ian. He shook his head no and looked toward the back, telling Ian to leave that way. Ian nodded at Mickey. They locked eyes. Both had the same thought. I think I love you, so what am I so afraid of?

They heard Kash slam the gun on the counter and broke eye contact. Ian turned to look at Kash, then ran out the back. He could hear sirens heading towards the store. He ran all the way to Shelia's where he met Lip on the front step. He told Lip that Kash had shot Mickey because he couldn't keep it to himself, but then changed the subject to Monica. Mickey and Kash would have to wait unitl tomorrow.

* * *

_I think I love you_  
_So what am I so afraid of_  
_I'm afraid that I'm not sure of_  
_A love there is no cure for_  
_I think I love you_  
_Isn't that what life is made of_  
_Though it worries me to say_  
_That I never felt this way_

**Author's Note:**

> Teenage love is different than adult love.
> 
> This is when I believe they both realized they had that teenage love for each other, and you can't change my mind.
> 
> Mickey fell for Ian pretty early, he just refused to admit it because he's Mickey.  
> And Ian probably fell for Mickey the minute he said "kiss me and I'll cut your fucking tongue out" because he's Ian.


End file.
